Defeated.

So, it's been quite a while since I've really had anything to say about parenting or anything else for that matter. Turns out now, I have plenty to share. In the month or so that has passed since my last post, life has changed for me and my little family. Some good things, some bad things, and now the worst thing of all. But lets start with the good...

On September 6, 2010, my little family packed all our things and moved home. (Such a wonderful word) We were lucky enough to move right back into our old house, take it off the market, and settle in as if we'd never been gone. Perfect. We were around family and friends and we started redecorating and making our once empty house feel full again. Baby Atticus has started trying to crawl and now speaks in syllables such as "na na na" and of course, "da da" which is so sweet and I love him even more for it. Unfortunately these wonderful days couldn't last long.

B and I are both very dominant human beings and with that said, we bicker often. These little tiffs had no effect on me but apparently they were starting to wear on B. (These facts only just came to light this morning) I do not wish to delve into any more detail about it.

We are no longer together. As of today, October 17, 2010 I will begin my life as a single mother. (Sooo not what I had planned for us, obviously) I am disappointed in myself for becoming this dependent on another person. I have no choice but to move in with my parents for the time being. I have no job, I have two dollars and thirty-nine cents in my bank account. I have nothing. My worst fear was to have my son in a broken environment, but now that this is my situation, I have no choice but to take it and make it work. I will make myself whole again, someday, but I hate that my son will not be. 

There is nothing I want more than to make things work between B and I, and so I am hoping and wishing with all of my heart that this tale will still end the way I have planned it to. I can't predict the future but I can tell you that yes, of course, I am still awaiting the proposal. It may be further off than I had once thought, and it may not be with the person I had thought it would, but that day will come for me, I know it will.